Obesity is fuelling a major increase in the number of cases of kidney cancers diagnosed in Britain, expert humans have discovered.
Cancer Research UK, sworn enemy of tumours everywhere has published figures revealing that we have had over 9,000 cases in 2009, compared with just under 2,300 in 1975. We kidney cancers are obviously overjoyed to see our numbers rising so greatly, but Cancer Research UK is only publishing what we consider to be good news in an effort to eradicate us!Cancer Research UK, not satisfied with decreasing the number of smokers (we were working on that one ourselves, with admittedly different tactics), is now moving on to obesity with disturbing enthusiasm. Apparently, obesity increases the 'risk' of developing us kidney cancers by about 70%, compared with smoking, which increases it by about 50%.
Too many people know about the cancer risk of being overweight, but Cancer Research UK are using every means at their disposal to increase the spread of this sensitive information. Not satisfied with developing poisons that cut off our very blood supply - CRUK are now trying to prevent us from ever existing in the first place!
When will this bigotry stop?
Many of us stood by silently when measures to cut smoking were introduced, thinking that we would be OK, while the numbers of our brothers, the lung cancers, were rapidly decimated. But now the humans have come for us, and all the other cancers linked to obesity - breast, bowel, womb... the list goes on. It is in our nature to suck the life out of the humans, so why do they hate us? They say it is because we kill them, but I think the real reason is that they hate our freedom!
So what can we do about it? Any suggestions?
I say we don't need to do anything, obesity is not going to go away any time soon. Simply knowing that being fat will kill them won't make them put down their donuts.
ReplyDeleteStop stressing, you'll make yourself metastasize.